The Stress of Marriage
by BookHippie
Summary: One-shot SasuNaru, hints of NaruSaku & SasuSaku It's Sasuke's bachelor party at a casino in town. While there, he gets drunk off his ass and meets one very hot, blonde pole dancer. Lemon? You bet  -For multi-chap, read new summary in chap 2-
1. Oneshot: The Stress of Marriage

**The Stress of Marriage**

**Disclaimer:** **They no mine. Neither is the iPod.**

**A one-shot inspired by "Love Drunk" by Boys Like Girls, and a few other songs you will find in here. Plus practice for lemons.**

* * *

Uchiha Sasuke was pissed; tonight was his bachelor party, even though he had insisted he didn't need one. I mean, for _God's _sake, he was getting married _because _he was sick of getting drunk and impregnating random sluts at bars! And what else _is _there to a bachelor party?

But grumbling would get him nowhere, his three best friends could be scary when they tried.

Staring in the mirror, possibly trying to melt it and blow the world up with his famous glare, he straitened his black tie over his white wife beater and pulled on the black short-sleeved jacket (the one with the silver studs and chain wallet, not his stupid work one), when the doorbell rang.

Ugh, great, they were already here.

Moving to leave his bedroom, the door was slammed open and Suigetsu stormed in, took one look at him, and proclaimed, "_Damn! _And I thought you said you _didn't _wanna be fucked tonight!"

After dodging the shoe thrown at his face, a voice filtered in from the other room, "Is it safe to come in, or is he still throwing things?"

Strolling out of his bedroom into his tiny living room/kitchenette, Sasuke gave Shikamaru a "guy-hug"**(1)**. He then looked over to see his last friend, Juugo, in the doorway, arms covered in the random birds that he talks to.

Juugo knew that he didn't like those crap machines in his house, so that was a good choice on his part.

"Where are we going?" Sasuke demanded.

Suigetsu bared his freakishly sharp teeth in a smile and said, "Che, where's the fun if we tell?"

It doesn't take long to narrow down the places they could take him.

"Forget it. I'm not going," he stated blatantly.

Shikamaru drawled lazily, "I told you he would do that..."

"Plan B?" asked Juugo, not really looking past his birds.

Suigetsu nodded, then, suddenly, the brunette's knees gave out and the quickly-approaching floor was blacking out.

* * *

"Ugh..." _Was that sound coming from _my_ lips? And where the fuck am I?_

"Oi! He's coming to!" called Shikamaru.

"About time," snorted Suigetsu, "We should've just poured the ice water on him."

"Do that and I will fucking kill you..." he muttered, rubbing the sore part of his head.

The idiots had freaking _kidnapped _him just so he couldn't get out of it.

Standing up and glaring at Juugo for knocking him out, Sasuke growled, "Where are we?"

"Where's it _look _like we are, dipshit?" laughed Suigetsu.

He saw a bar, filled with people, and there were slot machines everywhere.

"A casino? Really?" he scowled, already scanning the room for an exit.

"No, no..." taunted Suigetsu, "Go have some fun! Get drunk! Watch the stripper's special! But for _Gods _sake, quit being such a prick!"

Shikamaru grabbing his fist before he could knock Suigetsu to Hawaii, they all scattered.

* * *

Hn, _go have fun, quit being such a prick! _

Every time Suigetsu's voice replayed in his head, he would take an angry sip of the clear alcohol -vodka?- little cocktail waitresses brought around. He _swore _that they showed up every ten minutes or so to _personally _offer him a drink, but maybe the alcohol was going to his head faster than he thought. After his third, fourth, fifth? drink, he decided, what the hell? When in Vegas, right? Not that he was quite sure _where _he was...

Standing up, swaying just a little bit, he walked over to the counter and placed some money on it for chips. Wordlessly giving Sasuke chips and sending him off with a, "Good luck, sir," he began his casino experience.

First heading over to the roulette tables, he bet 23 for his birthday and lost nearly half his chips before he decided that maybe he should try something else.

Walking near across the casino, bumping into many people, pissing most of them off, he reached the poker tables. All heads turning to glare at him, knowing the very moment he entered their perimeter.

"What do _you _want, kid?" sneered a guy wearing a cowboy hat.

Sasuke had to blink at that one; they were in Japan, so why the _fuck _was someone dressed like a cowboy?

"I think you're in the wrong area, punk," growled a meaty guy, "Leave afore we have to call security on your ass."

He steadied himself enough to glare daggers at the idiot who dared defy him. "I'm here to play," he stated coolly, surprisingly not stuttering.

"Fine," responded cow-man, "Sit and ante up."

Fifteen Minutes Later

"Pleasure playing with you," Sasuke smirked, carrying his large pile of chips. Turns out even drunk his apathetic glare was too hard to see behind. When he wasn't just bluffing –and well at that–, he actually had some pretty good hands.

They all stared, flabbergasted, at his back, wondering how some 'punk' managed to school them all.

Going back to the counter to exchange his chips for cash, he ran into Suigetsu.

"Heeeey, asshole! Feels nice to cut loose a little, huh?" he laughed, "Anyway, we've been looking for you! The show's about to start, so move! If I miss it cause of you, I'm cutting your junk off."

Scowling angrily at the gray-haired man, Sasuke had no choice but to follow. Suigetsu was blabbering about some cocktail waitress, when they finally ran into the others. Thankfully, the inter-com called for the last minute warning for the show, so they were able to skip personal stories.

Rushing into the little theater/cafe area, Juugo pointed to an over-looked table right in the front row of the audience and they all rushed over.

Finally sitting down at one of the little tables with his buddies, the lights dimmed and the inter-com introduced the stripper. She had a cocky smile on her lips, short pink hair, hoops, jade green eyes, and was wearing a red bra with a matching thong.

The vodka already gone to his head, he pulled out some of the dollar bills and offered them to his friends for the stripper. He could already hear the music playing, and it was rather suiting.

She spun around on her pole, sliding up and down it, and exposing tons of boob on each motion. Dollars were flying and she started doing tricks with them; tucking them inside her flimsy 'coverings', interacting with the audience.

Then, just as the song got to the chorus, a man climbed on from the bar to join her. _You spin my head right round, right round, when you go down, when you go down, down... _He wasn't completely certain that he wasn't drooling.

The guy was fucking _beautiful! _His laughing blue eyes locking onto the pinkette's, and he began to do tricks with her. Tan against pale, he hoisted her up onto his shoulders as she continued to drape herself for the pleasures of the audience.

Sasuke didn't care; he only had eyes for her lovely assistant. A rush of boldness most likely caused by the drinks made him climb drunkenly up on stage along the gorgeous pair.

Unfazed, the man turned around and the girl draped her head on his shoulder and kissed his cheek before pulling back and coming down to the ground.

When the green eyed girl went back to her pole for more single entertainment, the tan sex god hissed to him, "Alright bastard, we _were _gonna ask for a volunteer, but seeing as you had to go and haul your drunk ass up here, you'll have to do. Just don't let go."

Anger at the idiot burbled in his throat, but, before he could (drunkenly) voice it, he was hauled over to the girl's pole.

"When I grab on, get on my shoulders and stand up, also holding the pole," hissed the blonde to Sasuke.

Going over, the man hugged the pole and Sasuke, not knowing what else to do, did as he was told. And, to Sasuke's shock, she climbed up them and began doing her moves again, as if they weren't even clinging on to the pole. Move after move until Sasuke almost passed out, the show finally ended to thunderous applause.

The girl climbed down like a nimble monkey and slid down the pole to whistles from the audience. The man pulled the female into a hug that seemed quite...sexy.

His alcohol-clouded thoughts couldn't suppress the jealously that rose up in him. But wait! That was _crazy_... He hadn't even _talked _to the idiot! Ripped out of his thoughts by the girl, he took bows with the two among all of the cheering and catcalls (which sounded suspiciously like Suigetsu's).

Then they were gone –backstage, preparing for the next show later on.

It was a pity that they couldn't stay longer.

Hopping off the stage to pats on the back from his drunk buddies, he snagged Shikamaru's rum and coke, downing it in one gulp. Head buzzing even more, the four friends moved over to the dance floor.

Grabbing some random blonde chick, he began to grind against her. Even though she was obviously enjoying herself, he wouldn't have cared either way; he was Sasuke Uchiha! Marriage couldn't restrain him! Sliding his hands further down her ass, enjoying the feeling fully, someone tapped him on the shoulder. Ignoring the jerk who probably wanted to cut in, he began to move his hands under the micro-mini the girl wore.

The tapping got more insistent, and there was a timid, "Sir?"

Wheeling around, Sasuke gave the guy his Uchiha Glare. From how the guy was shaking, it obviously didn't matter how drunk Sasuke was, he could still maim people visually.

"A-Ano..." he started, looking like he wished he could leave, "Our s-star performer asked for me to give this to you." After handing him a pink card that reeked of flowery perfume, the poor waiter turned and fled, probably going to apply for a paid leave to recover from him.

Opening it up, he read it allowed, not really giving a shit if someone else heard. "Great job up there, you're so fucking sexy... It's quite exciting. Care to come around back for a drink? Show this card to the bouncer and he'll let you pass. Oh, and the door is the fourth one on the left." It was signed "Sakura". Damn. He had been hoping that it would've been from that hot little blonde.

No guilt ate at him as he crossed the red carpeted dance floor –it was _his _bachelor party, damn it! He couldn't really see why he had opposed coming here earlier; he was having _way _more fun here then he was at home with his fiancée, Karin.

His clouded vision suddenly focused when a big guy got in his way. He had a cue-ball head and wore those annoying dramatic black sunglasses.

"No entry," he rumbled, "Away with ya, a 'fore I have to kick ya out."

Oh great, a redneck.

Sasuke refrained from saying this aloud, and instead showed him the slip. Grinning and showing messed up and yellowed teeth, he said, "Oh, y'all here fer Miz _Sakura! _Well, go on in. And have fun." He snorted and Sasuke slipped past him, glad he was about to get drunker, cause he _so _did not want to recall that guy's face in the morning.

Trekking silently down the hallway, he went the appropriate way and entered the fourth door down.

The room was dark, save for candles glowing around the perimeter of the room, shining off the makeup mirrors, reflecting four more Sasukes at the original. He stepped forward and almost fell; in the dark he hadn't noticed the steps leading down to the floor, of which he took now. Landing on the cushy floor, Converse sinking in, he was surprised to discover the whole floor felt like a bed. There was a couch in the middle of the floor, but since the whole room was so spacious, didn't get in the way of the make up mirrors. From what else he could see, there was a curtained door leading to an unknown area, the door he was standing in, a mini-fridge, and two leafy plants in the room's corners.

He could see the figure was laying drooped on the couch, hand over the armrest, clutching a bottle. That was most likely the drink, he thought, so he strolled over and took it from the hand.

"Hey!" protested a voice angrily as Sasuke took a swig. Hmm, that was odd. It didn't exactly sound like a _girl's _voice, but hey. Turning to face the pretty pinkette, he was startled to discover that it was the attractive blonde sitting there.

"What do ya think you're doing, teme?" growled the blue-eyed assistant.

Sasuke stiffened; as chairman to one of the leading electronics companies in Japan, no one got away with speaking to him like that. Even someone as handsome as this idiot.

"Well, _dobe_," he stated calmly, "I believe I'm having a drink."

Staggering up, the blonde lunged at Sasuke, half falling on him, but managing to grab the drink. "Not any more!" proclaimed the blonde. Yanking away, and hunkering down behind the coffee table for protection from Sasuke's thirsty hands, he said, smugly, "And it's _Naruto_."

Successfully averted from his task, Sasuke blinked, not quite sure he heard him right. "_Naruto_, as in _fishcake_?" he snickered.

Naruto sputtered, "_So_? At least _I _don't have a pole up my ass, teme!"

Pretending to think up a response, Sasuke suddenly lunged across the low coffee table, going through the smoke from the incense burning, and nearly knocking over Naruto's iPod stand. The bottle successfully regained, he sniped, "I'm surprised that you know what 'teme' means, dobe. And it's Sasuke. Sasuke Uchiha."

He added that last part to scare the wanna-be show boy –after all, he _was _that important, and Naruto's cockiness was starting to piss him off.

"_Uchiha_?" sneered Naruto, "Don't you mean Uchi_wa_? Heh, you make fun of _my _name, and your family didn't even spell yours right!" **(2) **

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. It. Was. On.

Smirking, figuring it would piss Naruto off, he drained the rest of the bottle, the liquid puffing his cheeks out, as he couldn't swallow all that liquid at once. **(3) **

Naruto then stood up faster than a drunk person should be able to, and pressed his mouth against Sasuke's.

Shocked so badly that he really didn't react, Sasuke just stood there like a statue, bottle dangling from his hand.

Worming his tongue through Sasuke's leaded lips, Naruto proceeded to suck all of the scotch –and air– from Sasuke. Drawing away from Sasuke, Naruto proclaimed, "Ha! Got it! Take that, Sasuke-teme!"

Gaping like a fish, Sasuke couldn't help but think how hot that was, getting the air sucked out of him. And it didn't help that he just now noticed that it appeared Naruto was _naked _under the orange bathrobe. Maybe it was the alcohol talking (most likely), but he didn't really care that Naruto was most definitely male. After all, whispered his treacherous mind, he _did _experiment quite a bit. Not quite gay, possibly bi, he had never officially acknowledged this possibility. Until he met the blonde. Ah, what better way to find out? A smirk stole over his face; oh, he'd be drinking alright. But not exactly alcohol.

Noticing the smirk, Naruto asked suspiciously, "Oi, teme! What're ya smirking at?"

Instead of responding, Sasuke tackled Naruto, laughing as he realized that thanks to the plush floor they wouldn't even need a bed.

"Hey! Sas–" Naruto started, only to be interrupted by Sasuke's lips.

Planting his hands on either side of Naruto's head, he prevented any escape, though Naruto wasn't trying. The blonde dobe wasn't exactly sober himself, so Sasuke had a feeling he was getting what he wanted.

Hmph, like he ever _didn't_.

* * *

Naruto had had a hard day. His fiancée was pissed at him again. Something about what a pig he was to live in these conditions. So he forgot to take out the trash; he didn't really see why missing trash day was such a big deal. And after a long day, he just wanted to stay in his backstage room, get drunk, then pass out and have to be woken up with a hammer. But then _this _bastard had to ruin his show, and, not only that, tried to ruin his recovery plan!

Not thinking twice, he had stolen the scotch back in the fastest way he knew how, and look where it had gotten him; trapped on the floor, under him, being sexually abused.

The lips on his tasted surprisingly spicy –under all of the alcohol, of course, and he found himself hungrily licking at Sasuke's lips for more of the flavor.

Sasuke, smirking at the muscle lapping at his closed entrance, parted his lips and attacked Naruto's mouth with _his _tongue. Twining his and Naruto's together, Naruto had to restrain himself from moaning. He just focused on staying still –and NOT making any embarrassing noises. But that plan was shot to shit when Sasuke started humming along to what _felt _like some Flo Rida song he couldn't put his finger on... Now, Naruto _really _hated people who took advantage of him, but he couldn't help himself. The bastard just tasted too good.

He pushed his hands up the back of Sasuke's wife beater in an attempt to get them closer. Dragging his nails lightly up the brunette's spine, Sasuke shivered at the ghostly touch and brought his hands into the golden hair.

Free to move, but Naruto didn't release him. Instead, he rolled them over, knocking into the coffee table, and momentarily stunning Sasuke. Wasting no time, the blonde rolled on top and tried to kiss Sasuke.

Seeing this coming, he tilted his head and Naruto ended up kissing his neck, right under the ear. Not missing a beat, Naruto went with it and continued kissing around Sasuke's neck to various moans from said boy. It wasn't just for pleasure anymore, but also for dominance.

Sasuke, desperate to regain control, clenched Naruto's ass and shoved him toward his groin, grinding on Naruto's when he succeeded. Both hissed when contact was made, and that's where the point of no return came.

Sasuke suddenly rolled Naruto over, so he was back on top, and slid down the delectable body slowly. Sliding _very slowly _down Naruto's body, now it was _his _turn to ravish the blonde's neck. Snatching the spot right over the vein, he bit down and began to suck, licking just when the pain would've become too much.

"A-Ahh...bastard..." gasped Naruto from the harsh treatment.

Leaving a throbbing hickey behind, Sasuke remembered what his original goal was and continued down. Deciding making a few more pit stops could be fun, he yanked the garishly colored robe off Naruto and latched on to one of the nipples. Lapping on the hardening nipple, he took the other and began to roll it with his thumb and forefinger. Pulling back slightly to blow on the moist nub, he then suddenly bit it and began to suck. Then the rolling became pinching and even though Naruto was wary from before, he couldn't prevent himself from mewling at the sharp pain inducing pleasure.

Sasuke then repeated the process, switching nipples, and, with Naruto bucking under Sasuke's touch, finally, kissing the whole way, went south. Naruto, thinking he would be alone for the evening, had never put underwear on, so Sasuke's face became buried in the golden locks without any effort. He let out a laugh; after the personality, it figured he was blonde the whole way.

Trying to savor when it happened, he hadn't looked at Naruto's dick before he reached it. Boy, was he surprised: It was straining, though there was nothing holding it in, the red head weeping pre-cum.

Licking his lips, Sasuke descended and swiped the tears off of the tan boy's penis. He already loved the flavor and couldn't wait to take him fully in, but, being an Uchiha, he couldn't help but tease Naruto first.

To start off the blow job, he drew his tongue _slowly _up the vein on the underside, tickling the blonde who gasped, choking on the words he wanted to get out. After it was thoroughly damp, he switched to nipping at the sides, enjoying when Naruto would jump.

Even as someone who loved both pleasure and pain, he took some sympathy on the dobe and began to rub the balls as he flicked the slit with his tongue.

Finally getting the words out of his mouth, Naruto wheezed, "S-S'kue d-damn you! Quit teasing!"

Laughing again and not really sure why, Sasuke decided to indulge him and took him in fully. Naruto moaned once than began panting when the brunette's laughter didn't stop just because his mouth was full. The humming on his dick was driving him _crazy _and he wasn't sure how much longer he could last. Dammit, he was a _pole dancer! _And he couldn't even handle a blow job! No, that wasn't it... Maybe Sasuke was just talented?

His thoughts on the subject pretty much stopped there, for that's when Sasuke started sucking. If he thought he was powerless before, boy, was he mistaken. "A-Ah...S-Sah-s'ke..." panted Naruto, "I-I'm g-gnna..."

Arching his back off the ground, he grunted and released into Sasuke's mouth, cum dribbling out the sides when Sasuke couldn't swallow all of it at once.

Laying back, sweating like crazy even though the a/c was blasting, Naruto desperately tried to regain his breath. But Sasuke was having none of that, immediately capturing the blue-eyed boy's bruised lips in a passionate kiss.

Teeth almost clinking at how close they tried to make themselves, Naruto noticed with part of his mind that he had been clawing up Sasuke's back, and now the pearly skin was crossed over with red lines. Oddly, he wanted to kiss it better, but Sasuke was through with kissing.

Pulling back, he breathed, "Do you have anything...?"

Not needing elaboration, Naruto murmured, "In my robe pocket..."

That intrigued Sasuke –what kinda boy kept lube in his robe pocket on nights he planned to be alone? It was almost like this had happened before.

Groping for the fuzzy cover up, he inserted his hand in the side and pulled out a small bottle. Smirking at the opportunity, he began to strip for Naruto.

Off flew the jacket, wife beater yanked off, and the pants and underwear shimmied down, all under Naruto's lust-filled gaze.

Perching over the tan body (and he does mean tan _everywhere_), he squirted some lube on his palm and dipped two fingers in it, smirking profusely.

"Sas-?" Naruto tried to ask before Sasuke pushed the fingers in him. "A-Ah!" cried Naruto when Sasuke started scissoring the digits. Thrusting upward, desperate to find any purchase, Naruto was getting harder to restrain. And so was Sasuke's own dick. After adding a third finger, he grabbed himself and began spreading the lube up and down his dick forcefully and following the same tune as his flexing fingers, moaning when he imagined Naruto doing the same.

But, just as he was about to add a fourth one, Naruto pulled a fist back a let it fly, striking Sasuke on the left cheek. "Get it over with, teme!" demanded Naruto to Sasuke's glare, "Stop teasing and _get in me, dammit!" _

Sasuke rubbed his cheek angrily, vowing to get Naruto back for that. But it would have to wait. Posing his hard length at the blonde's entrance, he waited, just for a moment, _just_ long enough to make the blonde wonder if Sasuke was chickening out, then shoved himself fully in.

Naruto's breathing hitched as he tried to cope with the large rod now inside him. Then Sasuke just sat there, but Naruto wasn't falling for it this time. So instead _he _started moving around the dick stuck in him.

Glaring at the dobe, he repressed some moans and pulled out until only the head was still in him and slammed back in, hitting the little bundle of nerves dead on and creating a quick and hard rhythm. Naruto wasn't just about to lay there and take it, he came up to meet every thrust, creating an odd circle-like movement.

Reaching down for his own neglected dick, Sasuke slapped his hand away and grabbed it himself, pumping it much harder than Naruto would have done himself. Not that Naruto was complaining. At this rate, they could only last so much longer before someone came to an end.

A thrilling end, but that didn't stop them from holding back. Neither _really _wanted to come before the other, but before the competitiveness could register, Naruto lost.

"_Sasuke!" _cried Naruto as he released, coating Sasuke's stomach and his floor.

The feeling of an orgasm in his fist plus Naruto crying his name was too much for Sasuke who came with a pant and a, "A-Ah..." Still panting, Sasuke rolled over, grimacing when he realized he just moved into Naruto's cum.

Too worn to move, he looked over at Naruto, wondering the state of the blonde. His eyes were closed –he looked asleep. So Sasuke took that as his cue to leave.

Pulling his –thankfully– clean clothes on, he wondered if he'd have to call a cab or if the others had bothered to wait for him. And the whole time, he never once turned to observe the blue-eyed boy.

If he had, he would have seen that Naruto wasn't sleeping, but watching him, moving his eyes over what was left of bare skin.

Without any talking, it was nearly silent, minus the club music coming from under the door Sasuke came in through. It sounded like some Papa Roach song **(4)**, and he started to head for it. But, when he reached the stairs, he turned to have one last look at the blonde beauty and saw the blonde's unashamed gaze.

And maybe that's why he walked back over and used a sharpie that somehow managed to remain on the coffee table to write his number down Naruto's arm. Nodding to him, Sasuke took his leave.

As for Naruto, he figured he'd better get cleaned up. It was almost closing time.

* * *

Sakura sighed and leaned back into her armchair, looking at the clock.

Closing time.

He wasn't coming.

She swore angrily and muttered, "I swear, all the cute boys are _always _taken!"

* * *

**(1) I do not know if there is an official name for this, you know, they grab each others hands and pull them into a half hug while thumping their backs.**

**(2) If you look it up, 'Uchiha' is supposed to be ironic, since their clan symbol **_**is **_**an Uchiwa (which is a paper fan)**

**(3) ~burst out laughing~ Sorry, perv moment... Oh, and a bit of foreshadowing here ;)**

**(4) Indeed it is, the song was "Hollywood Whore" XD**

**Okay, I put this as a one-shot, but, I do have a plot developed. If anyone's interested in a sequel or continuation, let me know and I'll start typing away! Anyway, R&R, tell me what you think!**

**~Hippie-chan**


	2. Chapter 2: The Morning After

**Chapter ****Two:**** The Morning After**

**Wow, I never gotten so much in so little time ~tears up~. So, thank you everyone that liked it and asked for a sequel! **

**Oh, and, now the story info should read; "Multi-chapter SasuNaru, with hints of SasuKarin and side paring of OroKabu After their one night stand at a casino, how will Naruto and Sasuke deal with each other with their own respective weddings coming up? Still lemons and limes to come"**

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own, but I do rock ;)**

* * *

_"How can you damn well look me in the eyes after what you did, you insensitive whore!" growled a voice._

Sasuke shot up in bed, breathing heavily and soaked in sweat. The voices and noises he heard were coming from the living room/kitchenette.

_"I didn't mean to hurt you!" she gasped, "I was drunk, really! I would _never _do that to you..." _

Damn, that meant Karin was here. No offense to her, but he was in _no _mood to see ANYONE.

Well, other than his friend Mary. Bloody Mary. Fuck, his head was killing him.

Dragging himself out of bed, he tried to remember how the hell he'd gotten home. And undressed. But hell, even after getting as smashed as he did last night, he thought, looking in the mirror, he still didn't look half bad.

_"How can you look at yourself in the mirror?" bellowed the man. _

Pretty easily... Sasuke thought with a snicker. Then he froze, realizing he was responding to a soap opera. He'd better go get Mary.

Stepping out into the living room, he hissed in pain when full-blown sunlight hit him.

"Morning Sasuke!" sang Karin, flinging herself at him in an attempt at a hug.

Problem being Sasuke was still blinded and her action almost knocked them both over. Making a sound that was a cross between a growl and a groan, he demanded, "Why the _fuck _are the shades up?"

Totally oblivious, she responded cheerfully, "You're too pale, sweetie! A little sun does WONDERS for your health!"

Moving into the kitchen, which thankfully had no windows to speak of, he went hunting for his ingredients. But, he discovered pancakes downed in _way _too much syrup on first inspection.

"What's this?" he asked, trying not to vomit.

"I made you breakfast..." she said, sauntering up to him, then giving an expectant look.

The brunette glared blankly down at her before it hit him; she expected a kiss for all her hard work. He couldn't deal with this right now.

Wheeling around, he began to rummage through the cabinets under the sink for the alcohol called for in the recipe. Finding none, not even the champagne he saved for special occasions, he stood back up.

Turning back around, he found Karin in his personal space again. "What are you looking for?" she chirped.

"The bottles I kept under the sink," he responded curtly.

"Oh, _that _nasty stuff!" she exclaimed, "I threw it out a while ago. You know how I feel about alcohol."

Sasuke barely suppressed a groan, ok this was getting _WAY _too troublesome. God, _now_ he sounded like Shikamaru.

Could this morning get any worse?

"By the way," Karin added casually, "What were you going down there for? I mean, it's not like I don't trust you, but you only keep your _alcohol _down there...so, did something happen last night?"

Sasuke froze; not this, not _now! _Was there _any _business she could stay out of? This was the reason they had kept the bachelor party secret in the first place. And while Suigetsu loved setting Sasuke's pants on fire (figuratively and literally, that's how they met), messing with Karin was like setting off an avalanche; it hit more than one person. For some reason, though, sometimes the gray-haired man was willing to risk it.

Sasuke had come to the conclusion that, sadly, his best friend was a masochist.

"Well?" asked Karin, pointedly tapping her foot.

Sighing, the brunette ran a hand through his hair. Dammit, _he _couldn't remember a lot of last night... He remember enough though, like the pretty blonde girl he had groped, the pinkette pole dancer inviting him to her suite, then...it got fuzzy. He remembered _really _hot sex, but for some reason, he couldn't picture it with either of them. Someone else...?

"...Me and the guys went out...to test champagne for the wedding," Sasuke lied. It was the only choice, really, cause if he was honest with her, who _knew _what would happen.

"Oh!" she bubbled, totally restored, because _why _in the _world _would her Sasuke lie to her?

"Now," Sasuke said wearily, "Can you _please _shut that off?"

* * *

Two hours and one luxurious soak in his Jacuzzi-bath later, Karin was pouting and Sasuke's hangover had only gotten worse.

Karin had been whining through the bathroom door at how Sasuke wouldn't let her bathe with him. Thus, the hangover went from pounding heartbeat to pounding _hammer. _

"Karin..." Sasuke finally spoke up, "I-"

"Well, whatever's bothering you," she interrupted, "It's got to wait. We have a reservation at 4 with my parents, and _you _need to get dressed!"

Sasuke's gaze narrowed into a glare. He had been patient, but this was too much.

"Shut the hell up if you know what's good for you..." he growled, seeing two Karin's at once, not really knowing which one he was talking to.

Her expression fell, but instead of tears, her eyes got a dangerous quality to them. "You'd better remember who you're talking too..." she growled, "My daddy's just as powerful as you, and _just _as capable of making people disappear..."

He stepped forward, muscles flexing like he was ready for a fight, and her face morphed into fear. At the fear, Sasuke smirked, having won the battle, but he still went to dress. She _was _right, her dad, Orochimaru, wouldn't hesitate to make him "disappear". And by "disappear", Sasuke knew that would mean being sexually abused while Karin thinks he's dead.

Repeat, could today suck _any more? _

Here they were, in an updated/old fashioned ramen bar. Updated, cause there were spaces next to the bar in quaint little fenced in yards full of umbrella-covered tables that seated four. And that's where they found themselves, _way _too overdressed for any place that didn't have the words "air-conditioned" in the description.

Personally, that bothered Sasuke more than the fact that he was sweating buckets –seriously, it was probably _twice _as hot in the kitchen and he didn't want to eat food with more sweat than soup.

"Karin-sweetie, Sasuke! How nice to see you!" chirped Orochimaru's husband, Kabuto.

Yeah, it never got old how Karin was raised by gays. **(1)**

Kabuto leaned in to kiss Karin on the cheek while Orochimaru slithered in with an umbrella. Seriously, an umbrella to keep the _sun _off him. Now if anyone needed a tan, it was this guy. Yet he was in a vintage suit that looked like it was made of wool.

Sasuke wondered then just _how _many times he would ask himself what was wrong with this family before he accidentally blurted it out.

"We took the liberty of ordering for you..." Orochimaru grinned, interrupting Sasuke's thoughts.

Sasuke resisted the urge to glare at the man now seated under not one but _two _umbrella's, and nodded instead.

Kabuto began talking about how they should _so _use poppies in the bouquet arrangement cause they'd look _so great _with Karin's hair, while Orochimaru was leering at someone over Sasuke's shoulder. Or at least he'd better be, cause if he was staring at Sasuke, he didn't give a shit if it upset Karin, they were moving to his island.

Yes, he had an island. He _was _an Uchiha, after all.

"Ahhh, _perfect _timing!" hissed Karin's dad as the bowls of ramen were placed on the black iron table, "My dear boy, you seem a bit more _fit _then last time I was here... I assume your _other _job is going well?"

Whoever had the sad misfortune of knowing the snake-bastard personally responded with, "Yeah, we're one performance away from getting a deal signed for an actual contract."

Wait.

"I'll be sure to come see _that _show," creeped Orochimaru, licking his lips with his freakishly long tongue.

Sasuke _knew _that voice, and suddenly recovered the missing memories from the previous night. He wheeled around, "Dobe?"

The blonde went bright red with shock, "W-What the hell, teme!" cried Naruto, "Are you stalking me or something?"

"Excuse me bitch!" yelled Karin, "I will _not _have you talk to my fiancée like that!"

They were gathering a crowd –after all, both Sasuke's and Karin's family were very well known.

"A _fiancée? What the __**fuck**__?" _Naruto yelped, pointing straight at Sasuke.

Sasuke stood up using calming hand motions in hopes to calm this group of wild animals, "Now everybody just _shut up!" _he growled over everyone's yelling.

It was a disaster –Karin shrieking insults at Naruto, Naruto's confused protests, Kabuto yelling at Orochimaru to do something, and Orochimaru was just smirking, enjoying the mess he caused that the paparazzi just ate up.

Then Kabuto pulled out a knife and shoved it into the solid metal table somehow. _That _got everyone to shut up nicely.

"Now," he started, with his calm-angry voice, "We're leaving. _Now!" _

Throwing a hundred at poor Naruto, he growled, "Keep the change."

The flustered blonde quickly grabbed it and hurried to the register, while a table-cleaner took away the untouched food.

Walking out of the fenced in yard, Orochimaru turned to Sasuke, "Now Sasuke, how do you know him?"

Thinking fast, since the guy obviously knew about Naruto's _other _job –ew, by the way–, he stated, "Well, after our champagne testing, we went looking for where Karin and I could honeymoon."

Karin, forgetting the blonde after this statement, started squealing.

"So close to the city?" frowned Kabuto.

"Yes, and why would you want your _wife _to see their act?" pondered Orochimaru innocently, "I mean, Naruto's cute but EVERYONE knows his board has a bend..." **(2)**

"Ew!" cried Karin, latching onto Sasuke's arm, "Poor Sasu...having to deal with a queer..."

While Sasuke was trying to regain his arm, Kabuto suggested they do this another day, considering he had some patients at his clinic to deal with soon.

All agreed, and the respective pairs went off on their merry/not-so-merry ways.

* * *

Naruto sighed and sat on the curb. He was above a gutter, a parking lot for a bank behind him.

He had been fired from Ichiraku's when Teuchi (the owner) saw that keeping Naruto would be bad for the ramen bar. Damn rich fuckers, coming in!

He glared at the green scrawl on his arm, blaming it for his misfortune. Sure, his fiancée wasn't exactly poor, but HE had to pay for the honeymoon, and _how _was he gonna do that with no job?

He was going to a culinary school, but he wasn't graduating for at least another year.

And that teme...Naruto sighed. Big deal, _he _was getting married soon, and _Sasuke _was getting married soon.

He should just scrub off the number.

Or he could call the bastard and demand payment for making him lose his job. **(3)**

Smiling evilly, Naruto pulled out his cell phone and began to dial.

No bastard, no matter _how _hot, could get away with screwing over Naruto Uzumaki!

* * *

**(1) This is NOT an Mpreg; Karin was adopted. Poor soul...**

**(2) *snickers* Get it? The saying is, "I'm straight _as a board" _so, "His board has a bend..." Get it? XD**

**(3) He didn't mean that pervertedly.**

**Yet again, the last sentence wasn't meant to be perverted. And, just as a warning, there will not be lemons and/or limes **_**every **_**chapter, and now the chappies will only be between fifteen and twenty hundred words since they are just individual ones instead of a story that can stand on it's own. Today's song is "Beauty Killer" by Jeffree Star. R&R!**

**~Hippie-chan**


End file.
